While figuring out how to make the best of the time and opportunities as the world seems to be falling apart, I came up with a small list of gratitudes.
Before our class sessions were converted into digital learning, I remember my favorite phrase when someone asked me how I was doing was, "I'm tired". I was experiencing what felt like my second burn out of the year. Honestly, this year I struggled so bad with finding my footing. I had the classroom management down pack and any educator knows that 89% of your job is being an extremely great actor, so even on your not so great days you'd train yourself to smile a little and keep it pushing. However, with this being my first year at this school, teaching a brand new subject and experiencing a totally new demographic of students in terms of age and cultural background, the pressure to have it all together was really daunting.
Feeling Reenergized
This early "break" felt so timely. I was like, "dang God, you really looking out for ya girl". (Hence: this was before stuff started to hit the fan and people were dying, losing their jobs and struggling to find toilet tissue.) I've used this time to take advantage of resting and not feeling guilty about it. Understanding that there will always be another todo list! No matter how many times you cross everything off your list, it'll always be something else waiting for you to do. So, I chose to rest and take it easy. It feels good to let my body naturally wake up, walk around looking undone and simply staying in my jammies all day. I can enjoy my long hot showers again without having to put on a timer, so I won't be late. I can listen to a podcast, as I get ready for my day. Let Riley out in the morning and not have to rush his sniff session around the backyard. These small simple acts have inflicted so much inner joy and peace and in return I look forward to enjoying my digital monday's with my kiddos.
Riley
My mornings are now quiet and slow. So, during a time like this it can be easy to feel really lonely, when you ain't got no man and not as much to do. But my "Ry" makes being alone not too bad. He follows me around like my personal body guard, he reminds me to think of someone other than myself and the troubles of the world. He ensures that my entire day isn't engulfed with just instagram memes and funny tic-tok's. And just when I feel like, my extrovert behind cannot be locked up in the house any longer, he comes over, and gently reminds me that, I can always give him a much appreciated belly rub.
No Timeline, Strict Schedules, or Routines
With teaching, creating content and starting my own business, I've unwillingly became such a routine type of girl. I hate routines, schedules and timelines, but I know how dependent I've become of them; they are ultimately the reason I've been able to stay afloat. Thankfully, with the unpredicted chillness that this pandemic has granted me, I've been able to let down my tresses and live a little. And it has felt so good and so freeing, which has made me organically fall back in love with everything. I didn't have that "damn I should really get this done" stress. Instead, I would jot it down on my to do list and if it got done that day, great, but if not I could always prioritize it for the next day.
Talking To My Best Friends More Often
Pre-"Stay at Home" mandate, I was notorious to my friends and family of being thee hardest person to reach. Now, me and my girl Natasha literally FaceTime everyday. Were keeping each other sane from quarantine boredom. I get to watch her cook, we watch Netflix shows together and give our commentary on them. Plus we motivate each other to not just sit there and eat all of our snacks, shoot we have to make them last right? Plus, my girl Cassandra and I literally hit each other up with countless funny memes and videos, so were never short of a laughter. It has felt nice to be fully present for my friends again, it feels like the good ole' college days at FAMU in Palmetto North and Truth Hall.
Use this time to rest if you want. Do nothing or do everything. Whatever feels right in your soul, is exactly what you're suppose to be doing.
Until Next Time
Miss Jean♡